The Hallmark of a Great Leader is heart Break

The Greatest sign of a truly great leader is heart break, leaders nurture people because they can see hope that people have in life and when those people fail it breaks there heart.

In fact a hallmark of a truly good leader is not never being deserted but by remaining faithful even when heart break occurs. I know of leaders who have been, betrayed, beaten and crucified many times by the very people they are called to serve they don't give up they don't let bitter roots cripple them and steal their freedom. They continue the task in lovingly (sometimes with a bit of tough love) nurturing people so that they can produce there best fruit and then learn to do it themselves.

That for me is the observation of great leadership.

Today I visited a friend.

Today I visited a former colleague, now brother and friend. They wrote me a card this is what he said:

Never underestimate a lift to work each day acknowledging Jesus all the way!!!!! Or a night out sitting with soldiers, drinking only coke. 

A Veterans Veiw of Marriage.

When I was in the Army there was this saying "A wife should treat her husband like a King and in the bedroom sleep with him like a prostitute."

Actually the proverb is a bit ruder but I have tamed it down for a public audience. 

But marriage is more than material gratification, its not a bad thing to have the above IF your wife is willing, but  I recon this Soldiers proverb fails to see wife's role in Marriage.

Opinions in relationships can be divisive, some times we just want it done our way or no way.

I was reminded that women are not Soldiers they don't just Obey orders senselessly. Yes so opinions are incorporated in the Wife package. And love does not insist on its own way.

So a man of this opinion needs to get back to basics,  I contacted a Batchelor. A gentleman of renown respect for women and his self.

He simple said "A man should love his wife as Christ loves the Church."

Later he apologised for his rebuff, And gave his assessment: "I think Marriage is a partnership, requiring mutual submission. That's was all I meant"

Marriage was Invented in a Garden. And we are instructed to love our wives as Christ loves the Church.

So the proverbs expectations were misaligned when I unpacked partnership  and mutual submission.

Unwrapping the fact that marriage was invented in a Garden and the word was to go forth and have dominion and multiply spread the garden across the face of the earth. I don't know too much about Gardening. But I do know its very practical and hands on affair and teaching it is monkey see monkey do. Marriage is about spreading paradise.

So how do we Lead? after all Christ leads the Church. But not by domination, I think we men think we should dominate our wives but dominion is more to do with leadership, so we should lead in the mutual submission and partnership if we want to see the same fruit in our wives.

The Gentleman said" Leadership is beautiful, you find ways to get people to be the absolute best. You create a place where they can flourish. And then you let them do it. No accident then that marriage was invented in a garden."